Instructional Control

Understanding Instructional Control: A Parent’s Guide to Building Positive Cooperation with Your Child

As a parent of a child with autism or other developmental disabilities, you’ve likely heard the term instructional control during therapy sessions or parent training meetings. But what exactly does it mean, and why is it so important?

Let’s break it down in a way that’s practical, relatable, and helpful for your everyday life.

What is Instructional Control?

Instructional control refers to the positive relationship you build with your child that helps them respond consistently to your directions, guidance, or instructions. It means your child trusts you, knows that good things happen when they follow your lead, and is more likely to cooperate with you in various settings (home, school, community).

This concept isn’t about being “in control” in a strict or authoritarian sense—it’s about using kindness, consistency, and reinforcement to build a working partnership with your child.

Why Is Instructional Control Important?

Many children with autism struggle with transitions, demands, or changes in routine. Establishing instructional control helps reduce resistance, meltdowns, or task avoidance. Instead, your child learns to see you as someone who:

• Follows through consistently

• Makes activities fun and rewarding

• Respects their pace and needs

• Provides safety and structure

When this foundation is built, teaching skills like communication, daily routines, and social behaviors becomes easier and more effective.

How Do You Gain Instructional Control?

Here are a few simple and powerful strategies:

1. Pair Yourself with Reinforcement: Spend time doing things your child enjoys. Play, laugh, and connect without placing any demands. This helps your child associate you with positivity.

2. Follow Through with Instructions: Give clear, simple directions and follow through every time. Avoid repeating yourself multiple times or backing down if they resist. Consistency builds trust.

3. Use Positive Reinforcement: When your child follows through on a direction, immediately offer praise, a high five, or access to something they enjoy. Make sure the reward is meaningful to them.

4. Start Small and Build Up: Begin with easy tasks your child will likely complete. As they succeed, gradually increase expectations.

5. Offer Choices and Respect Preferences: Give your child control in appropriate ways (e.g., “Do you want to clean up blocks or crayons first?”). This helps reduce power struggles and supports cooperation.

Common Challenges (and Encouragement!)

Gaining instructional control is not always quick or easy, especially if your child has a history of avoiding demands or has experienced inconsistent follow-through in the past. Be patient with yourself and your child. Progress may be gradual, but every step forward counts.

Partnering with your child’s BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) or therapy team can help you troubleshoot challenges and adjust strategies to fit your family’s unique needs.

Final Thoughts

Instructional control is the foundation for successful teaching and behavior support. It’s not about power but connection, consistency, and communication. Learning becomes a shared journey instead of a struggle when your child trusts you and knows that good things happen when they cooperate.

At Thrive and Shine ABA Services, we’re here to help you every step of the way—because we believe that empowered parents create empowered children.